Thai Women: BIGGEST MISTAKES Western Men Make (Mistake #1 is Disturbing)

Have you ever heard the saying, ‘Choose your life’s partner carefully, from this one decision will come 90% of all your happiness or misery’? Keeping this quote in mind, today we’re going to talk about relationships between Western men and Thai women. It’s no secret that many people find love and happiness in cross-cultural relationships. But, just like any relationship, there can be challenges that arise from cultural differences and misunderstandings.

In spite of the fact that Western men and Thai women are extremely different, I see the same mistakes being made again and again. I feel that your connection with your significant other is the single most important component in your life, so getting it right is essential! The following are the most common mistakes I see Western men make when dating Thai women.

9. She’s The Only Woman In The World

Thai Women: BIGGEST MISTAKES Western Men Make (Mistake #1 is Disturbing)

It never ceases to amaze me how some western males can overlook the awful behaviour in a relationship. Since when does it become OK to forgive your future spouse after she has had an affair?

How many western men fail to see that they’re not the only men in their lives?

The other day, I heard an old favourite. He, a western expat, and his girlfriend were strolling down the street when the girlfriend went to hide behind a vehicle so a motorbike with what she said was her brother’s friend on it could pass by. Evidently, she grew up with a jealous brother who didn’t want her to date other men, or maybe it’s something else, unless both of you are in an open relationship.

8. Continuing To Support Her And Her Family Financially

One of the unwritten rules in Thai marriages is that Thais marry someone of the same or similar financial background. Sure, many wealthy Thai men marry gorgeous ladies from middle-class or lower-income families. But the girl is young, beautiful, and has never been married before, with no children, and she is educated.

Old western man married young Thai woman

But you will never hear of a Thai man from a wealthy family that married a girl from a farm or a bar. If so, her background needs to be a secret, and most likely the man’s family will force him to stop the relationship. Because they don’t want the burden to be financially supporting the girl’s family, and losing face could be a factor too.

As for western men, they don’t seem to care about the classes of Thais or bar girls. In this case, as long as you’re supporting her generously, she will be with you. However, you’re reinforcing the notion that having a foreign spouse or boyfriend is a ticket to get out of poverty, even if money isn’t an issue for you. If you want to be a sugar daddy and live your fantasy of having a young, beautiful, exotic Asian lady or having multiple girlfriends or wives, you can buy that here.

On the other hand, if she is a housewife raising children, and you’re supporting her generously. That is something different, and I hope you do support her and the children so they can have a chance in this world.

However, some expats despise Thai women married to Western men who don’t have children and spend most of their time in the house doing nothing but watching TV, playing games, or gambling.

You want a woman who has a decent job, as she can carry your relationship with confidence. The same with her Thai family, many of whom are nice and hard-working people. While some others are straight out greedy, lazy, and unpredictable, you never know what to expect. Look for a Thai lady whose parents work for a living or have their own business. As such, they are less likely to rely on their children to give them a dowry or send money home for help.

If you find a Thai lady and she offers to pay after your first meal together, don’t let her go; she’s a keeper, regardless of her background.

7. Too Much Information Revealed Too Soon

I don't tell everything about myself to anyone

I have always lived my life by the rule that I don’t tell everything about myself to anyone. Even my closest friends and family members don’t have a complete picture of who I am.

As one gets older, I realize the dangers of revealing too much personal information to a single individual. If things go south, the best friends you formerly thought of as your closest friends, or in this case, other expats, may now be smearing your name all over the place. All of your secrets and other more humiliating moments will be out. Although this doesn’t happen as frequently in the West, in Thailand, it’s a different story.

As for your Thai partner, one of the words I use to describe them if things do not go as planned is “bitter”. When that happens, be prepared for her to act mean to you. Many Thai women feel betrayed when a relationship between a Thai woman and a Western guy fails.

Often, they have it in their heads that you’re to blame, whether it’s true or not. Expect to be retaliated against or perhaps avenged. You want to make sure she doesn’t know too much about you to minimize the harm. Some people’s vengeance knows no bounds.

If I was dating a lower-class Thai lady and didn’t think the relationship was going anywhere, I wouldn’t tell her where I worked or which firm I worked for.

Also, many Thai women are attracted to western and Thai guys because there is this mystic aura about them. In fact, most women, in general, love mysterious men.

Here’s one example: you let your Thai wife be the only beneficiary of your estate. When you do this, and things don’t go as she wanted, you might end up being more valuable dead than alive to her! Make it clear to her that your closest family members will receive a portion of your estate, whether or not that is the case.

6. You’re Getting Married To A Thai Redneck

Thais in Isaan - Rednecks

Now I’m not talking about uneducated people since many Thais without formal education are highly intelligent and financially well off, while others are not. But overall, IQ levels in Thailand are significantly lower than in Western nations (where the averages are: United States: 97, the United Kingdom: 99, Canada: 99). Thailand’s average IQ is 89. I’ve been informed that the difference between 10 IQ points is really noticeable. Source:

There are many men who say that their wives do not meet their intellectual needs. These expats rely on a number of expat friends for their intellectual stimulation.

The truth is that appearances deteriorate with age, and I’m sorry to offend the 5 female viewers, but only a small percentage of women retain their youthful charm as they age.

In the event that you were first drawn to her because of her appearance alone, I hope that she has a lot more to offer than just her looks because looks don’t last forever.

Suppose you marry a simple lady from Isaan or other small villages around the country. In that case, she may not be able to keep you intellectually stimulated, and you might end up getting bored.

When it comes to plain compatibility, isn’t it better to be with someone who has a comparable educational background to you?

You will find it much simpler to go through difficult times if you have someone who thinks about more than what they have to do that day.

5. Language Barrier

If you can speak Thai and it is better than her English, Thai becomes the language of that relationship. Even if you’re fluent in Thai, you’ll find yourself doing things the Thai way. As a result, your relationship will be based on the customs of Thai society.

If she is good or fluent in English and the language of the relationship is English, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that long-term success is more likely in this type of relationship.

4. Never Met Her Family And Friends

When you marry a Thai woman, you truly do marry her entire family. Therefore, it’s important to meet, and interact with her family, and some of her closest friends first before you put a ring on it. Because it’s a bad idea to do that for the first time on the wedding day, at the engagement ceremony, or during the dowry negotiation. If you do not meet her family first, the Thai family will scrutinize you, and ask you a slew of intimate, and obscene questions.

You probably heard the phrase, “You married a Thai woman. You married her family.” That is, after your marriage, there is a good chance that people will come to you unannounced and expect to spend days at a time with you; they may even ask for your assistance. It’s important to do that first before you marry your Thai lady and see if you can deal with them.

It’s also a time for you to see if her folks are decent people and if their lifestyle is sustainable. If your parents are still alive. Is this the new group of Thai people you want to introduce to your parents?

I am appalled by the number of Westerners who have told me that they love their in-laws to death and that they are great people but would never introduce them to their own parents! When you do meet your Thai lady family for the first time, expect them to ask all sorts of questions, such as what you do for work or how much money you make. It’s OK if they ask that, because they only want to know if you can take care of their daughter, and you do not always have to tell them the truth. You also have every right to ask about your future family and ask all of the same questions. It would be irresponsible on your part not to.

But don’t reveal too much about yourself too soon. More on that later.

3. Not Compromising

You need to sometimes acknowledge things you don’t want to acknowledge, but not always.

Here’s what I mean, she argues, “It’s Thai culture, husband buy papa and mama a new home,” and you naively attempt to justify that this is Thailand and you have no actual understanding of anything that is going on around you and so unwillingly give in. Sometimes it can be true, and sometimes she might try to say it because she knows it’s one of the ways to get what she wants. Other times, you don’t do it because “It’s Thai culture.” The result might be a breakup; therefore, far too often, the western guys give in to the demand because they don’t want to end the relationship.

If you don’t understand Thai culture, and your Thai lady tells you all the time, “It’s Thai culture” or “this is how things work in Thailand.” Run as fast as you can, and never look back.

Another example is the dowry system, “It’s Thai culture,” It is true, but some Thai families don’t do it. It will depend on the Thai family and your future wife. Also, older women who have been married before or already have kids. No Thai man will give a dowry to her parents. If they do, it is secretly returned to the man after the wedding.

So if you are 50 years old and marrying a Thai woman in her 40s, chances are she has been married before, and maybe has at least one child. In this situation, I would not pay any dowry. However, if you are 50 years old or older, and marry a beautiful Thai woman in her 20’s, even if she has a child and married before. There is a good chance she will say “This is Thai culture,” and you will have to pay the dowry. How much it will depend on her family. So expect to pay in this situation because a beautiful 20-something Thai woman will most likely not want to sleep with a guy as old as her grandpa.

2. Living With Her Too Quickly

If you’re moving in with your current sweetheart because you’re thinking about getting married to her, that is fine, but DON’T DO IT if you’re not going to put a ring on it. It’s that simple.

Having to get her out because you later realized she wasn’t suited to you as you initially believed is a big headache.

She may get manipulative or simply go crazy and come up with some antics you’d rather avoid. Having a crazy Thai girl living in your home isn’t enjoyable for anyone.

Also, if a Thai lady you recently met for a few weeks or even a few months decides to move in with you, it says a lot about her. Any good Thai lady will not be willing to move in with some guy she just met, whether he is Thai or Western, because she is concerned about losing face if she breaks up and has to move back. She would also be concerned about her family and how they would react, especially if they had never met the man.

1. Finding A Life Partner In An “EASY” Manner

Dont marry a hooker

This should never be on the list but here we are. It is at number 1 because I appalled of hearing too many horror stories, and I hope this could help some people seeking a lifelong partner in an “easy” manner.

Many western men succumb to the temptation to take the easy road to meet a Thai lady. This means they go to a bar or meet someone in Pattaya in search of a spouse. Those who strive to convert a bar girl into a bride learn that taking shortcuts in relationships can lead to negative outcomes. While some succeed, the majority fail. Only men with near-endless pots of wealth can successfully navigate the minefield of a relationship with an ex-bar girl. Other than that, there’s a risk of getting involved in a difficult relationship with financial challenges. Help the family, buy her parents’ home, build a home under the wife’s name, help pay a moving company to the new home you built for her, help her pay to start a business, help pay her brother’s loan etc.

Beer bars, strip clubs (in Thailand they call them A GO GO), and discos aren’t always good places to meet Thai women to be your wife, especially in Thailand, where the line between Thai women working in the adult entertainment industry and those just out having fun may be blurred in tourist areas.

If you’re not a fan of nightclubs and bars or approaching women to start a conversation, then dating websites can be a good option for you because you can get an immediate look at the person’s life through their profile and then get to know them gradually.

It’s important to keep in mind that the vast majority of Thai women avoid pubs and clubs where foreign visitors congregate. But we don’t have time to get deeper into that here. Check out my eBooks for more.

It’s important to keep in mind that the vast majority of Thai women avoid pubs and clubs where foreign visitors congregate. But we don’t have time to talk more about that here. Check out our eBooks for more.


“Choose your life’s partner carefully, from this one decision will come 90% of all your happiness or misery.”

Good communication and understanding are essential in any relationship to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts.

There’s no reason you and a Thai woman can’t be happy together.

It is mostly the negative stories that get shared and create misconceptions. There are plenty of happy and successful cross-cultural relationships between Thai women and Western men. By understanding and respecting each other’s culture and values, setting clear boundaries, and maintaining open communication, you can build a strong and fulfilling relationship with a Thai woman.

When dating or marrying a Thai woman, be aware of potential cultural differences and challenges but also recognize the many wonderful qualities that Thai women possess. They are often caring, family-oriented, and have a strong sense of loyalty. With patience, understanding, and respect for each other’s culture, you can have a loving and successful relationship.

Keep in mind that every person is unique, and it’s essential to focus on the individual rather than generalizing based on their nationality. By doing so, you’ll give your relationship the best chance to thrive and grow.

Good luck on your journey to finding love and happiness with a Thai partner.


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Author: Thom

Hi, I’m currently living in Thailand. I’m a artist, designer, travel blogger, and sometimes a YouTuber... Tags: Viator Tours Thailand, Viator Bangkok Airport Transfer, Chiang Mai Viator

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